I don’t know how much I can stress that this^… This is what keeps many from committing suicide. It is what stops me… I cannot imagine the pain of the person who finds me. They will never be able to understand that the deceased is better off… They will never understand that. No matter what you write or say beforehand… They just cannot understand the pain that was inside you.
I just wanted to talk about something here real quick
a few weeks ago I was feeling really, really bad, I wouldn’t get out of my room or anything
at some point my friend spent a day with my sister
then I got a text from him that said “hey mom can I sleep at Julia’s ? she’s not feeling really good these days”
so of course my first reaction was “oh wow he actually cares ?”
then I got another message
I thought he’d just say “sorry that was for my mom”
he said “I needed an excuse, sorry”
so yup. my feelings are an excuse.
good job man
My self harm Assignment
Label yourself (prep, goth, druggie, weirdo, etc)
i have no idea
How long have you been cutting?
utility knife blade
Where (place) do you cut (school, home, etc.)?
my room, or the bathroom
Do you have to wear long-sleeves & long-pants all the time?
Do you cut on your stomach, or chest?
Are your legs, arms, & other body parts covered in scars?
What’s your favorite excuse to use when someone asks about a cut?
no one sees them
Have you ever been hospitalized because of your cutting?
when was the last time you cut?
a few weeks ago :3
Off the top of your head, about how many scars do you have?
last time I counted I had about 100
Do you have (diagnosed) depression, and/or bipolar/bpd?
Who knows you cut?
my best friend, I think he forgot about it though xD
Have your parents ever confronted you about a bloody sleeve, or towel?
yup, there was blood on my pillow. I said it was one of my piercings that randomly started bleeding (it happened once so why not)
Did you have a good childhood?
it was okay I guess. I didn’t have many friends and got bullied a lot though
Why do you cut?
At first it was just cause I wanted to try. then I became addicted, then I managed to stop, and depression arrived and it became a way to let it all out
Have you ever talked to a therapist or counselor?
yes but for different reasons, I never talked about cutting
Do you want to stop cutting (but can’t because of addiction)?
I don’t really know. I really like it I just hate that people would judge me for it if they knew
Do you like cutting?
How many times have you tried to commit suicide?
What are your views on cutting, and other self-injury?
When I hear/read about other people cutting I think it’s really sad, and that they don’t deserve this. No one does. but when it comes to me I think it’s perfectly fine…
Do you like watching movies with self-injury?
Do you like looking at pictures of self-injury?
Do you sometimes envy other people (non-self-injurers)
yes, especially because they can wear t-shirts. Last time I wore a t-shirt with mid length sleeves people asked me how did I get those scars. Never tried again
Have you ever taken any pictures of your cuts/scars?
yes, but I keep them for myself. I actually think my scars look nice.
Do you want to die?
I used to but I’m on medication now yay
Have you ever done a school assignment on cutting, or self-injury?
What do you like to listen to while cutting/depression/etc.?
I never listen to anything when I cut, so I can hear if someone is coming in my room
Have you ever needed stitches from cutting?
Do you dream about cutting?
What do you use to bandage your cuts?
nothing, except when they’re really big and won’t stop bleeding, I put a band aid
Made me tear up and shit
I love this….
so I have quite a lot of scars on my arms
and spring is coming
last year I only had small and thin scars, you could only see them if you took a good look at my arm, so I could still wear t-shirts
but now I have some big scars, you can’t not see them
at home I always wear t-shirts with long sleeves or shirts, because I don’t want to worry my parents
Do you guys try to hide your scars all the time ?
I’ve never really told anyone about my self harm issues. my friends have seen my scars last year, but I’ve never told them I did that. you know what I mean ? They know about it, we’ve talked about other people cutting themselves, but I never said “guys, I cut myself.”
but then again we’re not that close. I know they’d judge me
I only told my best friend, who lives far away and never saw me. he’s the only person who knows about my issues. Self harm, depression and suicidal thoughts.
Even my shrink never knew about my scars or suicidal thought.
My mom always told me that if I told him I wanted to kill myself, they’d put me in an asylum
so yeah the only person who knows about all that is my best friend. I always come to him when I’m feeling really really bad because he’s not going to try to make me tell him everything, he’s just going to make me laugh, and that’s what I need when I’m feeling down.
wow that was a pointless post but it feels good to talk about all this stuff